Fornication on the Faucet
by tansypool
Summary: Angela drags Brennan to a club, and it doesn't quite work out the way it was planned... T for language and sexual references.


**Fornication on the Faucet**

**Author's note:** Okay, so this is something my friend and I came up with after a lengthy discussion of where Booth and Brennan fornicate. We discussed them moving to the bathroom, and "faucet" was the only bathroom word I could think of that started with an F. Totally random, I know. So I'll just shut up and move onto the story. Oh yeah, tis my first Bones fanfic. So it's probably going to be weird and insane and I can pretty much guarantee some OOCness.

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I don't own Bones. Fox does. If I owned Bones, it wouldn't be getting abused so much. I don't even own the tap (aka faucet) mentioned.

---

"Ange, I didn't agree to a deaf date!" Temperance Brennan stared at the car ceiling, anxiously folding and unfolding her jacket. "Why'd you spring _that_ on me at the last minute?"

Angela grinned. "You need to get out more often, sweetie. It's a blind date." She smirked a little, before Brennan caught it and scowled. "Just come into the club, five minutes, if it's that bad you can leave."

"Come on then. Let's just get this over with."

---

Brennan sat on the bar stool, watching Angela make her way through four, five, six conversations with overly intoxicated men. Finally, she snapped and pulled her friend over.

"What am I supposed to be doing here?" she hissed.

Angela looked distracted. "Uh... I don't know. Get a drink, talk to someone, stop sitting around like some hermit."

"I thought I was supposed to be meeting someone, anyway."

"Oh yeah. Well, he should be here by now. Listen, I'd better go--"

Brennan sighed as her friend half-bolted to someone on the dance floor. "Now what?" she murmured to herself.

"I might be able to help," a familiar voice almost mocked.

She spun around, almost tripping over her own feet. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Booth grinned, and held up a glass filled with an amber liquid. "Drinking."

"Of course."

"Just pulling your leg."

"No, you've got one hand on your glass and the other on the bar. How are you supposed to be pulling my leg at the same time?"

Booth muttered something incoherent under his breath. "It's a figure of speech."

"Oh."

"So, uh, do you want a drink?"

Brennan looked up. "May as well."

---

_Where the hell is she?_ Angela scanned the night club again. Okay! This was weird. She had friends who would disappear from a night club and not be seen until they stumbled home from a one-night stand, but Brennan wasn't one of them. At least, she didn't think so.

"Hey! Brennan! Where are you?"

No reply.

Okay, this was weird. _May as well text her, won't really be that bad._

Or it could be. Who knew?

---

"Did you identify the human soup?" Booth hollered to the squints as he strode up to the platform.

"Booth, we've only had the remains for an hour, we can't be expected to have identified them that quickly." Zack barely looked up.

"Brennan?"

His partner didn't look up from whatever she was examining.

"Brennan?"

"What?"

Booth stumbled for something to say. "Well, er... what're you looking at?"

"His right radius and ulna show signs of excessive wear--" Booth cut her off.

"Yeah, okay, so I was just looking for an excuse to talk to you. I have no idea what you're on about. Listen, about Saturday..."

Brennan sighed. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Listen to me." Booth's voice was gentler than it had been. "Saturday was a mistake. We - well, you - aren't the type of people who just... you know what I'm talking about..."

"Have sex in a public toilet."

Booth groaned. "I was _trying_ to avoid that phrasing."

Angela looked at the pair from across the lab table. _They don't realise just how loudly they're talking._ She suppressed a giggle.

"Let's just pretend it never happened, okay?" Booth's words met a stony silence.

---

Angela rushed to keep up with Brennan's rushed pace. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Brennan didn't turn around. "Tell you what?"

"I could hear you and Booth talking. I know Jack could. Judging by Cam's face, she could too. I think Zack heard, but he didn't seem to acknowledge your talking."

Brennan froze. "Shit," she muttered.

Looking her in the eye, Angela started murmuring something only she and her friend could hear. "Whatever you say now, you will realise it's not a mistake. Everyone can see that you two are barely able to stop yourselves from mounting each other every time you're in the same room. So either keep on going with this stupid cat-and-mouse thing or just go for it. What have you got to lose?"

"This is a workplace, doing something like that is totally inappropriate. Okay?" Brennan snapped.

"Okay, just pretend it never happened, you'll figure it out in the long run."

"Figure what out?"

"Never mind. Just, please, tell me you at least didn't get it on in a sink."

Brennan looked away and smirked.

---

**Author's note:** So, what did you think? I generally don't get very far with fanfics, so I'm kinda proud I got this far. Thanks for reading it, now click that little button and tell me what you think!


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